Inspiration, my Muse, my Fickle Mistress

I am a slave. She rules me, and without her command, and her breath of life, my creations are wearisome and fruitless toil, if indeed I am able to put my hands to work at all. Inspiration, vision, magic – I don’t know what to call her, my mistress. But she is cruel and inconstant.

A sampler quilt built around the traditional
"Log Cabin" pattern, made as a baby gift for no good reason
(which is the best reason)

Sometimes, I’m struck with an idea. Who knows why? But I have to make it, like, right now. If the yarn shop is closed, or I can’t drive out to the fabric store, I’ll pore restlessly over my stash, desperate to find the right colors or textures. Out comes the graph paper, the ruler, dozens of colored pencils picked over and discarded until just the right shades are found. I’ll add, multiply, divide (inexpertly), sketch, cut, crumple, experiment until – at last! –a pattern comes out, a quilt-top drafted, a neckline perfected, or a swatch knitted up and ready to dive in. What prompted it? Maybe, this time, a baby was born whose name means House of God, and I NEED to make a Log Cabin quilt. Perhaps a little girl I know finally has a baby sister, and if they don’t get handmade matching dresses, the whole world will be thrown out of balance.

Other times, it’s no matter how much I want to come out with something brilliant, or even Nice. My sister, my dearest friend, at once my kindred spirit and my polar opposite (but more kindred than pole), had a baby girl, and asked me to be the Godmother. Highly sensible of the honor, I declared “I shall make her a blanket.” Well, that was three years ago, and there is no blanket. In fact, I just had the perfect idea for it today, after trying out and discarding half a dozen ideas. (She has since also had a son, and HIS baby quilt is in the works, because… well, because I was inspired.)

It’s not fair, it’s irritating, and it makes me feel bad when inspiration fails. On the flip side, dear Bob, that Log Cabin quilt I made opened the door to a friendship that was basic at the time, but has since flowered into something I would sorely miss now. When the inspired things do pop out, they are Just The Thing. All we really have to do in this life is the job that’s in front of us. I don’t know why this job plunks itself in my lap and not that one, but this is the sweater I have to knit, this is the nose I have to wipe, this is the lunch date I have to make (this is the midnight blog post I have to write). It feels right to go with it.

And this is why I’ll never be a business owner. And why I wouldn’t have it any other way.